With everything in life there are
rules regarding how tings are done. Many of these are frivolous and
unnecessary to be sure, but I believe there are some that are an
honest attempt to provide a uniform way to do things in the best
interest of the consumer. There are certain things that you should be
able to do or order anywhere in the world and know exactly what you
are getting. Every drinker dreams of having his own bar in his own
home. Lucky for you I have made that dream a reality, and make real
cocktails and as a result can make more real
drinks than most bars around this terrible drinking wasteland known
as Alabama and have learned a few things.
The
first rule of home bartending is that everything
works with ginger ale. It is impossible to make a bad drink with
spirit, ginger ale, simple syrup and a lime wheel. Coke gets most of
the attention as a mixer, but can you imagine gin and Coke? Tequila
and Coke? Those are positively barbaric and belong only in the realm
of high school drinkers who think they're hard for drinking hard
liquor. Ideally, only rum should be put in Coke, and only then with
the juice of half a lime so you have a Cuba Libre. However, ginger
ale works with literally everything. I personally prefer a 1:1 or 2:1
mixture, but for some folks that is a bit strong. Whatever your
ratio, I guarantee that ginger ale will complement you spirit so long
as its Canada Dry. Seagram's is just sad.
The second rule of
home bartending is that anything you can do with vodka, you can do
better with gin. The whole point of vodka is to have as neutral of a
spirit as you can; no flavor and no soul. On the other hand, gin take
straight is as vile a spirit as has ever been made. However, as soon
as you mix it with other liquids, it becomes magical. Case in point –
the Martini. James Bond famously ordered a Vodka Martini, shaken not
stirred. Most people are not aware that this is strictly a gimmick
for the films, the novelized Bond preferred bourbon over all else,
and the proper name for the drink is a Kangaroo. A well-made Martini
is truly a thing of beauty. I make mine with 2 ounces of gin, ½
ounce of dry vermouth and stir it well. Going against tradition, I
like to garnish with a lemon peel instead of an olive.
The third simple
rule of home bartending is that you should always have backup bottles
of all your liquor. This isn't so important with liquers that you
only use a half ounce here and there, but it is crucial with your two
ounce pours. On a night of heavy drinking I can easily put away ¾ of
a bottle of whiskey, and there are times when you just can't make it
to the liquor store the next day. Even on days when I don't get
soused I still like to have a glass of bourbon while I watch the news
and that doesn't leave much for a night when one glass turns to
three. By having a backup bottle you never have to worry about
running out, and this is especially important if you have company
with a healthy capacity for consumption.
These three rules
are by no means inclusive, and I hope to give more, but they are a
good point to start at once you have made the decision to invest in a
home bar. One of the greatest things about having your own bar at
home is that you can always have a good and refreshing drunk without
having to worry about a DUI.
Frank Nichols is currently roaming the untamed lands of Alabama. He's the classiest thing to happen to awful since Pabst Blue Ribbon in a bottle
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